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SPECIAL REPORT: NOVEMBER 2009
THANKS GIVING
We hear it all the time to give thanks, to be grateful for what we have. This time of year it gets even worse, you can’t escape it! There’s a national holiday for it for heaven’s sake! But, who can’t help feeling a little good ol’ self pity once in awhile? Who doesn’t get some pleasure out of looking at the glass half empty dag nab it! All we hear about is the economy is in the crapper, the planet is melting, the Mid-east is a black hole for troupes and billions of dollars, and the stove needs to be fixed and its going to cost over $600 to fix it! Ok, so maybe I’m not feeling so grateful these days.
It must only mean one thing. There is only one thing that will send me into a tizzy, keep me up at night, and make me want to kick something. That’s right, my own shortcomings. I can live with anyone else’s incompetence, arrogance, demands, but I literally twist into knot when I have come up short, not delivered, was unprepared when I should have been, got caught off guard and stumbled, didn’t make the case. Oh, yeah, that’ll get me running to all my friends for comfort, but there is no respite, no place to sneak off to away from the disappointment, self doubt and embarrassment.
Everyone has bad days, but how do we move beyond the need to be the star, be the best and face the disappointment that we are human after all. The first monster to tame is the fear. What will it mean if I screwed up? What will be the consequences? Will I lose a client along with all that potential income? Will I lose an opportunity now or over time? Will I have to face up to those who have to cover for me?
The opposite of fear is love. It’s as simple as that. When I flub up, I tend to crack the whip harder and faster. That is the time to remember to love oneself, appreciate your best efforts and be loyal to yourself regardless of what the fallout is. Think of a friend who is there for you when the odds aren’t, be that for yourself.
Say the words you would say to a friend to yourself:
- You put your best effort in.
- You have the best of intentions.
- You consistently contribute to the success of your team.
- Your work is important and valuable to those around you.
- You are respected for who you are.
- You have much more to give. So, go out there and dazzle ‘em!
The next thing to tackle is facing the fallout. There are two choices; to make things right or to accept its water under the bridge and go out and give your best and most focused effort.
To make things right takes courage to own where you came up short, make your sincere apologies and engage in solution thinking and acting. This means:
- Thinking of and offering ways to recover the issue yourself.
- Asking those involved what ideas they have.
- Exploring the impact each solution has on the problem.
- Selecting the one or more actions that will have the greatest impact on resolving the issue in the short term and long term.
- Go to it!
Oddly, choice number two is the harder of the two for me, accepting its water under the bridge and moving forward with my best and most focused effort. I tend to want to crawl under a rock for awhile. Sure, take a little time to lick your wounds. But be quick to jump back into the ring with gloves up and dazzle ‘em. The corporate world is no place for the thin skinned and weak willed, it’s for grown-ups!
The second monster to tame is embarrassment. Let me let you in on a little secret, you may be realizing it for the first time, but everybody else knows you are human. The best way to put the ego to rest is to look at what you can learn from this experience and learn from it. This could be a critical time for you to build a strength you never otherwise, would have had.
See, now I’m feeling better and oh, look, I can see all the things about my life that I can give thanks for. Now that the black cloud of self doubt and self pity has cleared away, I can see what I am so grateful for. Maybe the key to having a grateful heart is love. Enjoy your stuffed turkey and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Sharon Hoyle Weber
Phone: 781-424-0442
Email: sharon@hotinthepot.com
Cohasset, Massachusetts USA
http://www.hotinthepot.com